How to Spot a Narcissist Psychology Today

(also posted on AOC Musings)

September’s cover issue of Psychology Today is devoted to better understanding narcissists. We have a complex relationship with this psychology type because they are charming and tend to dominate 21st century public culture.

A narcissist thrives on controlling behavior that captivates the general public and close social networks because many narcissists exude: attractiveness, competence, interpersonal warmth and humor. Their personalities suggest that they should like other people more — but this is a key difference between the narcissist, who is me-centered, and the extrovert.

Further complicating our dealings with the narcissist is the reality that sincere extroverts share many other characteristics of the narcissist: an endearing interpersonal style; self-assured body movements, friendly facial expressions and plenty of that intoxicating charm.

Leadership and narcissism go hand in hand.

Many extroverted people — especially women it seems to us —- are shot down and locked out of the positive impressions index because they are confused with narcissists. American women in particular, are dethroned for not exhibiting humble behavior, as an extension of their charm.

This read weaves together narcissism, the more intentionally exploitative behavior that is Machiavellianism, and dark, often deadly psychopathy as a distinct ‘dark triad’, with narcissism defined the gentlest star, being the one linked to charm, popularity and large social networks.

Both male and female narcissists are known as sexual provocateurs.

Promiscuity is a key behavioral ingredient also, because narcissists are always searching for a better deal. Psychologists Joshua Foster at the University of South Alabama and W. Keith Campbell of the University of Georgia found that when narcissists think their partner is committed, they are even more willing to cheat, presumably because they feel that they are more likely to get away with it. And narcissists get a rush out of convincing partners to do things or engage in sexual acts that they would normally eschew.

In the endless lineup of men (and presumably an occasional femme but we have no list) in power who cheat in dangerous ways on their wives, sexual control is seen clinically as a key ingredient of narcissism.

Is Dominique Strauss-Kahn a Narcissist?

In the aftermath of charges being dropped against Dominique Strauss-Kahn in a Manhattan courtroom yesterday, It’s fair to wonder if DSK is an example of a full-fledged narcissist. Is France’s ‘Great Seducer’ less charming now then when the entire legal case began?

If it occurs to you that you are a full-fledged, to-the-death narcissist, there is an online test — the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI), that you can take. It’s a quick 40 questions, on which Anne scored 15, making her average 12-15. Celebrities score closer to 18 and narcissists often score over 20.

Six of Anne’s total points came in authority, as her strongest trait on this index. She scored zeroes on vanity and entitlement.

For further insights on how to understand the people who may be marcissists, Psychology Today gives us tips for spotting a narcisssist and also how to deal with being in love with a narcissist

Health News

Soybeans & Nuts Lower LDL Cholesterol

Certain foods may be the best medicine for lowering ‘bad’ cholesterol LATimes

New research suggests that a diet without foods high in saturated fat may not control bad cholesterol as effectively, as adding soybeans and nuts to our diets. The two food groups were so effective that among study participants, levels of LDL dropped in many cases to half that of patients who take statins sold as Lipitor, Crestor or Zocor. An individuals risk of fatal heart attack or stroke could also drop by 20%, although these results wre not confirmed in the study

In general, plant sterols, which can be added to foods or taken as a dietary supplement, were highly effective in reducing levels of LDL, the ‘bad’ cholesterol.

Maternal Inheritance

Stress Can Affect Future Offspring Science Daily

In a study conducted only on rats, researchers determined that pregnant, stressed rats in the early state of pregnancy inherit the effects of that stress to their offspring. In most obvious effects of the stress were expressed in behavior impairments but also in characteristics of resilience.

The study also demonstrated that nurturing intervention can mitigate some of the negative impacts of inherited stress effects which often raise cortisol levels even in your children.

Amazon Reads

Jane Fonda’s Prime Time #184

(via Amazon) In this inspiring and candid book, Jane Fonda, #1 bestselling author, actress, and workout pioneer, gives us a blueprint for living well and for making the most of life, especially the second half of it. Covering sex, love, food, fitness, self-understanding, spiritual and social growth, and your brain. In Prime Time, she offers a vision for successful living and maturing.

Highlighting new research and stories from her own life and from the lives of others, Jane Fonda explores how the critical years from 45 and 50, and especially from 60 and beyond, can be times when we truly become the energetic, loving, fulfilled people we were meant to be. Covering the 11 key ingredients for vital living, Fonda invites you to consider with her how to live a more insightful, healthy, and fully integrated life, a life lived more profoundly in touch with ourselves, our bodies, minds, and spirits, and with our talents, friends, and communities.

Jane Fonda’s Staircase Metaphor

The Merits of Going Through Life Thinking You’re a Firefly AOC Anne’s Sensually Yours Blog

Jane Fonda’s use of the staircase resonates deeply with Anne. One of her most important and vivid dreams of self-realization saw her climbing an imaginary crystal staircase into the ceiling — and beyond — of the Franklin Park Conservatory in Columbus, Ohio.

Simply stated, Anne defied the laws of gravity in her dream and saw this vision as her triumph over the fears and personal obstacles she put in the way of her own self -evelopment.

Marriage, Divorce & Weight Gain

Men vs. Women: Who Gains More Weight After Marriage and Divorce? TIME

Marriage and divorce don’t affect gender-based obesity trends in the same way.

It’s true that married men and women tend to gain weight compared to single, unmarried counterparts. Women are likely to gain more weight than men.

In divorce, the opposite effect occurs. Two years after a divorce, separated partners tended to be heavier compared with couples who remained married, but this time men posted larger weight gains than women.

Stay at Home Moms & Depression

Stay-at-home moms have the hardest job LA Times

The title is somewhat misleading, because it’s written within the context of trends in depression, not who has the physically more demanding job.

A new study has reaffirmed that women who stay at home raising children are more likely than working moms to have symptoms of depression. The findings on stay-at-home mothers support other research that shows working outside the home is good for a woman’s mental health.

It’s believed that many stay-at-home moms may have higher levels of depression because they want to be employed but find the cost of childcare too high to make a job worthwhile. Alternatively their faith, political views or husband may insist that the best place of a woman is at home, not working, and especially with children.

In the same survey, researchers determined that supermoms had more difficulty fighting depressions than women who were more realistic about the challenges of work/life balance. Most lifely, perfection and flawless weren’t typical words in the healthier women’s vocabularies.

NEW Blogger April Malone

Sensual Power & Self Acceptance, Even at the Food Stamps Office AOC Sexual Politics

Sensuality is not a skill, but a lifestyle living (tm). A moment of nothingness can become beautiful within its own simplicity. It’s the moment when you are truly feeling the flows of spirality fervor, cascading up and down like a kundalini snake. In that immediate moment, sitting on the phone with my sister, the wind engages me with a sensual touch on my naked shoulder and instantly I felt loved, warmth, happiness and joy all encompassing with perfect harmony.