Coca Cola Does Not Deliver Big O Happiness in a Can
/July 18, 2010. Read profoundly talented comment from Dane in Australia at end of piece.
Coca Cola is guilty of premature ejaculation.
Like a guy who can’t keep it up for long, Coke promises a big happy fantasy, tantalizes you with visions of joyful nirvana but loses it, just when you’re reaching peak pleasure. It’s a guy thing.
via Flickr’s isayx3Knowing that America is the fattest country in the world; and knowing how obesity affects not only self-esteem but our sexuality; and knowing also how worthless is the sugar in Coke, Pepsi and other sugar- rich drinks, I said just now “God bless you, Coke. Reducing the size of your can will NOT make Americans happy.”
This pink message from Coke was in my email box, an early morning, sensual seduction from an American icon. It got me thinking.
Consider the guy who promises you the world, sexually-speaking, but never delivers the goods when you’re just ready to achieve sexual bliss. Coke is like that guy.
Technically speaking, the sugar rush in Coke will elevate my dopamine production, stimulating the pleasure centers of my brain.
If all I want is a “quickie” rush of pleasure, Coke will deliver — but not the full monty.
My Coke orgasm will be short-lived.
In the midst of my sugar “high” the caffeine is also working to dilate my pupils and cause my blood pressure to rise. I’m not calm and relaxed. I’m revved up with Coke, waiting for the big O from the white powder guy.
It’s a well-established fact that women need to go much longer to receive orgasmic bliss. Coke says “hurry, baby”.
Besides the fact that Coke piles on the pounds in a culture that demands size O thinness from its women, Coke lets me down hard, as I ride his waves of addictive pleasure.
