Martha Stewart is well aware that a domestic diva can be the greatest femme fatale of all. Martha hasn’t fooled me for years. She may be talking about preparing the garden for spring planting, but suddenly we’re in the midst of a discussion about her $1200 Thumper vibrator that does double duty in the garden.

Noting that Martha Stewart’s Fashion Model Days zoomed into out top read spot, and writing that vibrator sales are up 60% over at Durex, I Googled Martha+vibrators to see if the empress of bedrooms was behind the surge.

Sure enough, here is Martha on Gawker TV being utterly scandalous with vibrating garden tools.

Martha Stewart and Howard Stern

In 2006 Martha Stewart held her own against Howard Stern, which is damn near impossible. Martha rolled.

When Stewart mentioned that she’d like to go out on more dates, Stern said, “But I thought you wanted me.” She responded, “I did. But then I met you.” More from EW Popwatch:

When he pressed on about prison life — “Who came on to you?”, she replied, “Some girls who looked like boys. Some had mustaches and beards. I’d be walking to the street and I’d be like, ‘How’d that boy get in here?’ And it was a girl. They’d want to have lunch with me,like a lunch date. Everybody in prison has a business plan. I’d have lunch with them if they were interesting.”

He followed with, “You never saw two girls getting it on?” “Nah,”Stewart said. “Not naked. But there’d be trysts.” Then Stern: “So Iguess you have to pleasure yourself in prison.” “You know what,” said Stewart, “five months isn’t a long time.”

Stern: “Have you ever had anything done?”
Stewart: “No.”
Stern: “No boob job?”
Stewart: “No, I think my boobs got bigger.”
Stern: “You’re a D cup, right?”
Stewart: “Nah.”
Stern: “C?”
Stewart: “Yeah.”

As Stern was wrapping up, he advised that the next time Stewart ison the show she go commando. “Wait, are you wearing underwear today?,”he asked. Stewart, without missing a beat, said, “No… bye Howard.”

Martha Stewart, Cupcakes and Erotica

When Martha does a show on cupcakes, she invites Rachel Kramer Bussel to stop buy.

Perhaps Martha Stewart is a closet version of Rachel, who co-founded the popular Cupcakes Take The Cake blog — but is also is a successful writer of erotica.

When the subject is Smart Sensuality women and cooking, the dialogue is certain to be full of innuendo. It’s tough for Martha Stewart to top her $1200 vibrator, but her womanly focus on hot dogs boggles the mind.

Dare we say that in Martha’s playbook, bigger is better?

Love her, love her, love her. I don’t think that Martha was such a MILF at 35, but she’s a GILF at 60. Anne