Bioidentical Hormones Have Redefined Me

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What do PETA’s banned sexy veggies commercial, Oprah’s two new shows on bioidentical hormones, AshleyMadison.com, and my commitment to Erotic Food Blogging have in common?

Each tries to move women out of our comfort zone, igniting our female desire to experience the Big-O — or even a very small-O — while making chocolate-covered seduction in and out of the kitchen.

Searching for Orgasms: Getting Beyond Beets

Okay, I’m being light-hearted here, but I think a little bit of humor is needed, given the incessant chatter around achieving better sex in America. I took to blogging about beets recently, to give us another perspective on the subject.

Today’s journal is sandwiched between two banned Superbowl commercials. Word was initially that the AshleyMadison.com commercials were accepted, at least in print. Not so, and I close this Journal with AshleyMadison.com, a site devoted to people seeking an extramarital affair.

This banned PETA commercial on sexy veggies also met the NFL Super Bowl’s censor’s hammer. Read the story in our Kitchen Channel. While the commercial is hot, hot, hot … achieving sexual nirvana just isn’t as easy as eating raw carrots.

Bioidentical Hormones & Aging

The goals of bioidentical hormones are even greater. Many women — me included — insist that they give us the sexually hottest, most intellectually brilliant, balanced and beautiful versions of ourselves . . ever.

Aging becomes not the road to ruin, but a step out onto an exciting new-world stage.

Be careful, gentlemen. You may just get what you’ve wished for. Sex Manuals Aren’t Working

I left you in early January, with an appeal that we be more open-minded about the benefits of eroticism. Statistics on the dearth of female orgasms, and growing numbers of women saying ‘who needs one?’ suggest that we sack all the sex advice and self-help books and start over.

Old school is NOT working. After years of “How To”, “Why It’s Good For You”, and “Try It: You’ll Like It”, American bedrooms seem more frigid than ever.

News media reports that the recession is inspiring our libidos.

Couples are staying home more and theoretically raising the nookie quotient, while putting VISA in the family budget lock box.

Sales of sex toys are up, but perhaps for masturbation and not hot monogamy. Who knows! Many women are single, and every female — partnered or not — is capable of taking matters into her own hands.

Anne’s Growing Confusion On The Problem of No Sexual Desire

I hope the recession is actually inspiring our libidos, because after watching a December 2008 Oprah show with Dr. Berman, followed by the Big O’s recent focus on bioidentical hormones, I could throw in the dish towel on the subject of female desire.

Having researched and reported on this topic for years, I thought I had a grasp of the issues. Today, I’m ready to say that I’m as confused as most men out there.

The MirrorVajayjas Not Vaginas

In fact, Oprah began the month of January in Anne’s doghouse, for her behavior a few weeks prior, discussing Laura Berman’s new book Real Sex For Real Women.

You need some Anne perspective on the Big O and female sexuality. Oprah’s been part of my consulting business for a decade.

A good six years ago, my women’s lifestyle presentations featured an infamous Oprah show, where the Big O sat with Dr. Hilda Hutchinson, advising women to get out the mirror and look at themselves “down there.”

It was a brilliant moment in the advancement of female sexuality — listening to Oprah and Dr. Hutchinson telling women to examine their private parts first-hand, as the first step in embracing their individual, sexy beauty.

Sexual guilt and ambivalence is a key component in lack of sexual desire among women. American culture (moreso than European and South American culture) has heaped plenty of mixed messages on women, concerning our healthy sexuality.

Oprah’s prior show on sexuality ended with extraordinary after-the-show participation and candor in the audience.

Dr. Berman’s Big Stick

Fast-forwarding to Oprah’s November 2008 show with Dr. Berman, I sat speechless in a time warp.

My focus wasn’t Dr. Berman and her pointer, explaining diagrams of female sexual anatomy. I could not take my eyes off the Big O. What the heck happened to her?

It’s bad enough that Oprah calls her vagina, a ‘vajayjay’.

Dr. Berman explained the dangers of women not dealing honestly with the real workings of their own bodies. “Vagina”, “vulva”, and “clitoris” are not bad words.

Oprah squirmed in her seat, before committing the ultimate sin in Anne’s play book.

When Dr. Berman called for women to once again “get out the mirror” Oprah made an icky face, behaving like she was eight years old.

Vajayjay, Then An Icky Face

I kid you not! The formerly sexually confident woman directing American women to embrace their sexuality by examining their bodies had left the building.

If Oprah is squirming and making faces in front of millions of women, over getting out the mirror to explore her sexual anatomy, where does this leave the rest of Planet Earth? In this video, Oprah is squirming over doing Kegel exercises.

The old Oprah would not have made a joke of Kegels, which are critical to sexual health and wellbeing (and a flatter stomach, as an added benefit).

It was at this moment that I said a few weeks ago: “Ok, GDI, I’m taking up Erotic Food Blogging. We need radical action here.”

Raging, Aging Hormonal Depletion

And then the Big O rehabilitated herself in my eyes.

If Oprah is childlike and nervous about discussing female anatomy, she has launched a new crusade talking about menopause, perimenopause and bioidentical hormones.

This is vintage Oprah, and watching the show was a head-turner for me.

via Flickr’s StarlisaNot only is Oprah taking bioidentical hormones, but so is Robin McGraw, Dr. Phil’s wife and author of a new book on the subject. These women are not speaking up on national TV, surrounded by top doctors, without serious consideration of their actions.

Arriving today on Oprah.com, we find landing-page video from Dr. Christine Northrup and a focus on last week’s appearance by actress Suzanne Somers, a longtime advocate of treating declining estrogen and testosterone among aging women.

The Oprah.com website is rich with links on the topic of bioidentical hormones.

I am not a doctor or health researcher. Any information and opinions that I share on bioidentical hormones, comes from my own research and should be regarded as layperson’s opinion.

But I do agree with Suzanne Somers when she says: “By replacing my hormones with bioidentical hormones, I got my life back. I got my health back, I got my figure back, I got my happiness back,” she says. “Everything in my life is better.” (Note, that Somers has continued with bioidentical HRT, even after her bout with breast cancer.)

Going Ageless

I have always said that the lack of decline — not only in my libido — but in my overall sense of wellbeing, energy, and quasi-babe status is related to my taking bioidentical hormones.

Yes, healthy eating plays a part, and I am relentless in the gym, as opposed to my former life as a couch potato. I now see my life process as a holistic one, based on confronting many of my own demons.

Nevertheless, bioidentical hormones are the lynch pin of my daily existence. The title of Suzanne Sommers book: “Ageless: The Naked Truth About Bioidentical Hormones” sums up my own view.

I honestly have NO sense of my actual age and neither do my friends or the men who date me. Scholars might suggest that this is not a good way to live … that we should experience fully each of our life stages.

In some respects, I agree, but I don’t kid myself that I’m 35, and I don’t walk around with a pony tail.

Not Every Woman Is Well Informed

In what can only be labeled a “self-centered, ignorant perspective”, I have assumed that any woman in her forties and older will weigh the option of taking bioidentical hormones in some form, if she can afford to do so.

Saying “no” to hormones is each woman’s decision. But I do not understand a lack of investigation.

The risks of bioidentical hormones aren’t fully understood, although the research is very promising.

Please note also, that I’m not speaking of the HRT produced by pharmaceutical companies like Wyeth. To achieve FDA-approved patents, those hormones contain additives not found in our bodies.

I would not take Prempro or Premarin, for example, although you might decide that it’s fine for your needs.

With regard to the headlines that accompanied the Women’s Health Initiative study, scaring millions of women off Premarin-based HRT, the media did women a great disservice, in my opinion. It is true that the percentage increase in breast cancer was signiciant for women on HRT.

In hard numbers, out of 10,000 women taking HRT (not bioidentical), there were eight more cases of breast cancer. According to the study’s authors, an individual woman’s increased risk for breast cancer, with this hormone regimen, was less than one tenth of one percent a year.

I’ll take those odds.

Suffering In Silence

Watching the Oprah show, I was shocked to see so many American women suffering with severe menopausal symptoms, without any help or information from their doctors.

My own doctors have been fabulous in offering counsel, including my original male doctor who put me in a bioidentical HRT research study.

I have made it my business to research the topic thoroughly, arriving at my doctor’s office, research results in hands, including the list of concerns.

Watching Oprah’s show on this topic, I was surprised to see so many women just miserable, with no sense of any available options that may alleviate their physical and psychological stress, resulting from hormone imbalance and depletion.

Go Ahead, Be Selfish

Homage to cecile.johns Self Portrait StyleIf Oprah achieves her goal of igniting a national discussion on bioidentical hormones, I promise you that American bedrooms may get a new lease on life.

There is nothing like becoming a Hot Momma again, even if the only person who appreciates you is YOU.

If I never dated another man ever again, I would still take bioidentical hormones, because I believe in their long-term health benefits for ME. I can honestly also say that I believe that the obvious health and wellbeing benefits that exist now, outweight a nebulous and small probability factor in the future.

Into The Future

I cannot lead my life in regard to what could theoretically happen. I make this statement as a healthy person in charge of my life, not an unhealthy person who takes no responsibility for being my best self. Personally, I would not give up the extraordinary quality of life I’ve enjoyed since beginning bioidentical hormone therapy, for fear of a small statistical probability in the future.

AND, being so motivated to eat well, sleep well, exercise and be happy …well, what are the health benefits of this lifestyle? They, too, must be factored into the research, which is difficult to do. The research on bioidentical hormones is sparse … because the health establishment has not embraced any form of HRT.

Hormones have already totally changed me, the woman in my mirror, and I have no desire to lose her.

I have mental focus and a positive sense of wellbeing that is very tied to the hormones and unknown in my earlier life. Mood swings are almost non-existent. Anger is unknown, even when I deserve to have some. My productivity is awesome, a realith that is also enhanced by strenuous exercise.

Today, I am as cool as a cucumber, under extreme stress. Aging and wisdom are factors, but the hormones are a big reasons why Anne is the woman you know today.

Bioidentical hormones are not a quick-fix that eliminates the need to lead a healthy life.

To repeat, I do many things right in my life: eating the right foods, keeping my weight under control and working out rigorously almost every day.

The Woman In The Mirror

To my readers who are suffering over the loss of self that can accompany these hormonal shifts, I apologize for being flip at times about lack of sexual desire.

I truly understand the “loss of self” challenges. I’ve lived them, and know that they are agonizing.

Whatever my jokes, or my defense of men, I am a woman — first and foremost. This is why I decided to write more openly about my own experience with bioidentical hormones and will do so again.

It’s fantastic that women are finally getting help from Oprah and Robin McGraw. Suzanne Somers doesn’t always defend her arguments well, which I why I didn’t include her videos. And yet, I totally accept the Somers premise.

Help is great, yet we must take charge of our own health issues, being in command of our own health strategies.

Bottom line, ladies, we cannot be passive about this important health issue, living in the misery that women discuss on Oprah.

Sex on the Brain

Good sex is great for your mind, body and spirit — man or woman.

Dr. Amen and Laura Berman, author of Real Sex for Real Women discuss ways to improve your sex life by optimizing your brain health, another subject of critical interest to us.

It’s unfortunate that Dr. Amen stresses the health benefits of sex three times a week for men.

Because the importance of female sexuality has been underplayed by the health establishment, we don’t have equal volumes of research on the benefits of healthy sexuality for women. However, the health evidence is clear, accumulating, and I will share it with you in the coming weeks.

Starting Our Own Bonfire Here At Anne of Carversville

Summing up today’s Journal, I know that starting a fire in America’s kitchen requires more effort than novel Erotic Food Blogging.

These issues are life defining and sources of great concern and misery in women’s lives.

Yet, we must take responsibility for ourselves: our health, our happiness and our marriages.

New Day Sexuality

Remember that we have bookends today, two banned Super Bowl commercials. We opened with that juicy vegetarian commercial from PETA.

We close with a commercial from Ashley Madison, the website for people seeking to have an affair. Originally scheduled in a print ad and live commercial, Ashley Madison will not appear on Superbowl Sunday.

I apologize in advance for upsetting or angering you with the commercial. Mine is not a scare tactic but rather a nudge that all women, and their partners or spouses, have a vested interst in not blowing off the importance of the Big O.

Reporting on trends in sexuality is my business, and I find Ashley Madison relevant. In the age of the Internet, Ashley Madison and a host of other Internet destinations are big business.

Mine is not a scare tactic ,but an admonition that dumping guilt on either party in a sexless relationship will no longer suffice. Partners will see experiences and satisfaction in other ways. Some doctors and psychotherapists argue that people who desire sex are the ones with the problem.

Biology is not on that side of the argument. I do agree that the entire subject of “natural aging” is being redefined in today’s world of hormone replacement and medical advancements. Today is the tip of the iceberg.

Ashley Madison: The Growing Business of Sexual Affairs

First we have the banned Super Bowl commercial.

Affairs are NOT merely a man’s business. Many married women are having real-life affairs and online connections, too. Unable to meet their needs at home, married women reach out to strangers.

In this Ashley Madison commercial, for better or worse, the woman is portrayed in an unflattering light. It could easily be the opposite case. My point in sharing is not to assume that either men or women are living with their heads in the sand on the subject of healthy sexuality, especially in marriage.

Even organized religion has become very involved in the importance of active sexuality in marriage. The Ashley Madison ad is not a pretty picture. But it also underscores the complexity of our situation.



We will continue this critically important conversation in the coming weeks.

Love,
Anne