via Flickr’s Ronald FloresAnne the innocent late bloomer just made a fantastic discovery about Viagra and fresh flowers. Even if you don’t prefer your blooms standing tall, you still want to read this belated research on Viagra and the shelf life of flowers.

The British Medical Journal reported last summer that Australian researchers have discovered that just 1mg of Viagra (compared to the 50 mg in a little blue pill) was enough to prevent two vases of cut flowers from wilting as much as a week longer than expected.

For every woman who doesn’t want that little blue pill in the house, perhaps you should reconsider. Or consider this idea, if you want the pill around the bedroom, but your husband doesn’t.

You install a magnificent bouquet of fresh cut roses in the bedroom, commenting that you’re conducting a scientific experiment. You want a tall flower, one that droops visibly on the stem. I would recommend peonies, a more erotic bloom, but the visual impact won’t be as noticeable.

After a few days, you slide into bed at night, remarking: “I simply cannot believe the effect of that tiny pill on the longer-lasting life of these roses. They just go on forever and ever.”

Your husband turns down the volume on the bigscreen, saying: “What’s that, dear? Did you say something?”

“The roses, John (or whoever). I’m talking about the roses. They should be dead by now, and instead they’re positively virile specimens of sensual beauty, enjoying yet another evening.”

Assuming that tonight is not the NBA playoffs, or a Yankees/Boston Red Sox baseball game or the Masters Golf Tournament, the ball is now in your court, my dear.

The script is your own, and I recommend planning your words in advance. Now is not the moment to be tongue-tied.

If you can’t plant a seed of desire and curiosity in trying a little sexual enhancement flower action in your man’s mind at this point … . well we must dig up the whole darn matrimonial garden and call Michelle for help.

Clearly, the First Lady can’t send her school children gardeners to work on this Anne of Carversville-inspired project. I will email her about forming a garden-duty corps of grownups to support our American Flowers Stand Tall initiative.

Researchers confirm that the Viagra also works on strawberries, legumes, carnations, and broccoli. Oh dear, my imagination is in overkill at this point.

ENJOY all the pleasures in your sensually revitalized, at-home flower garden. Anne