Images: Syed Ali Arif | ‘Celebrating Sexuality’

Women and Faked Orgasms

There’s an explosive commentary from Yashar Ali on The Current Conscience He Doesn’t Deserve Your Validation: Putting the Fake Orgasm Out of Business.

Ali’s passionate defense of female sexual pleasure and the daily sensual dynamic between couples is the second — count them TWO — vigorous articulations of the female perspective and our competency in 24 hours. I must be dreaming because both men left me speechless with their words.

The earlier defense of female competency in investing and managing financial markets — coupled with tough talk about the male ego in Wall Street — came last night on Charlie Rose’s Bloomberg broadcast with ex-Solomon ‘Liar’s Poker writer Michael Lewis , interviewed about his new book ‘Boomerang: Travels in the New Third World.’

OK back to sex and an earlier this year study out of Temple University ‘Most women fake orgasms — but why?

Erin Cooper of Temple University interviewed 366 females ages 18-32, with about 60 percent of her total sample indicating they have faked orgasms. As a side note, about 25 percent of males said they have faked an orgasm.

A second study referenced by ABC News ‘Female Orgasm May Be Tied to Rule of Thumb” says that 75 percent of women don’t experience vaginal orgasms without an assist.

In Ashar Ali’s desire to bear down on the men — and you won’t find us criticizing him — this passionate, real-world guy does omit the critical fact that the actual research says that 75 percent of women don’t experience vaginal orgasms without an assist.  It’s not the case that 75 percent of women regularly don’t have orgasms but that there is stimulation of the clitoris involved — manually or with a vibrator or another ‘assist’.

For certain, the majority of women don’t have vaginal orgasms with the guy on top doing his thrusting business.

Most sex researchers today agree that the distance between a woman’s clitoris and her vagina is a major factor in ease of vaginal orgasm. To keep things simple, friction (rubbing) against the clitoris is a big assist in the female orgasm.  A distance of about an inch may well enhance the possibility of female orgasm.

In an earlier article, I share major tips on letting the woman take over, letting her drive her sexual car (meaning her guy in the majority of cases) to nirvana and bliss. Read For Better CAT Orgasms, Put Her in Charge Once Clitoral Contact Is Made.

Why Do Women Fake Orgasms?

The Temple University study’s explanation of why women are faking orgasms is more comprehensive than Yashar Ali describes. He rips (and I smile reading it) into the men and culture at large, writing:

This all comes down to conditioning. From a very early age, women taught to satisfy the fiery male ego. The fake orgasm is just another moment in which a woman sacrifices for a man without receiving anything in return and worse, it leaves them feeling sexually unfulfilled…