Images | Catrinel Menghia by Michel Perez for Aubade, shared on Bambi Magazine #6.

It amazes me how a single set of images can have such high impact on my psyche, communicating visually what is difficult to explain in words. I’ve written widely on my tremendous love of Europe and especially France and Italy.

The expression ‘I love you’ but I’m not ‘in love with you’ doesn’t explain my thoughts about the two countries. I’m in love with both Italy and France, but it’s only in Italy that I kiss the ground, when my plane lands. It’s the Italians who taught me how to love passionately and without guilt.

Some people were stunned a few months ago when Monica Bellucci told Vanity Fair Italia that if her husband Vincent Cassel was away for several months, she would expect him to have a sexual affair. 

Passion vs Loyalty

‘Passion you can feel for the worst man you ever met.

But that has nothing to do with a deeper partnership. In such a one, passion stays, but more important is confidence, respect, knowing a man is not just loyal in a sex way, but that they will be there for you. That is more important than just fidelity.’

Not all men think so one-dimensionally, employing Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s or Silvio Berlusconi’s ‘Me Tarzan/You Jane’ approach to gender relations.

Successful, smart men can take female sexuality and their woman’s need for sexual fulfillment very seriously. I was the blessed recipient of such unconventional thinking in my own long-term relationship in Europe.

The Italians taught me that jealousy is not inevitable, that smart lovers create arrangements that work for both parties and humans can thrive responsibly in nontraditional arrangements. Truly creative people bring innovation to their personal lives as well as business.

Writing recently about the deplorable behavior of a French bad boy who misrepresented his expectations of me in Paris, these wonderful images of Catrinel Menghia by Michel Perez for Bambi Magazine #6 and compliments of French lingerie brand Aubade remind me of the opposite man.

A top businessman in Europe, he was always late for dinner and forever leaving for Tokyo or Brazil at a moment’s notice, even though we coordinated our schedules all through Europe. His attitude was ‘if I don’t do something creative, Anne, I will lose you.’ His solution was the most unorthodox situation of my life, one I thrived in for five wonderful years.

Stability vs Happiness

Much to our mutual pain, I left that relationship for a traditional one in America. Unable to comprehend how much I was flourishing in this high-flying but so intimate and loving unorthodox relationship, I chose the safe route. Although the relationship lasted 10 years, it was plagued with guilt, unfounded accusations, jealousy and a self-centeredness that had no focus on me.