Having another of my 4am, goddess call-ins, my day is off to a grand start. This time it was Oshun dialing in — and also my business head asking me how in heck I intend to pull together two small shops — 350 sq ft of retail space — in Lancaster’s Building Character by next Friday March 1. 

I began making lists; it’s about time, don’t you think? 

My mind wanders easily, fantasizing about new creative connections where none officially exist. How I ended up in Florence last week making jewelry theoretically inspired by a Nigerian (Yoruba) goddess requires an explanation — even to my open-minded self. 

When the goddess knocking woke me up a few hours ago, I took myself to great task for flying off to Florence for inspiration when Oshun in Africa isn’t sorted out. Let’s see now … we need 24 cards with earrings, six large planters … I’d better rent a storage unit downstairs because the entire loft will smell like potpourri … 

This attempt to focus didn’t last. When the goddess knocking begins, it’s futile to try to beat it back. Accepting that there is a reason why I flew off to Florence in my Italian-inspired burst of creativity last week — and it has nothing to do with my glorious, sexy existence in and out of the country for years — I began Googling. 

Ask and you will receive! Within minutes I was on PBS Frontline, reading about Alessandro de Medici, the great 16th century Italian Renaissance figure whose Medici prince remains are buried in the famous tomb of Michaelangelo.

Without even trying to mount my religious hypocrisy soapbox, enter stage right one 17-year-old Cardinal Giulio de Medici, as the father of Alessandro. The later Pope Clement VII, is believed by researchers to be the father of a bastard child conceived with a North African slave girl.

Good goddess! A Catholic pope is unintentionally besmirched by my flower pots in this accidental bout with the creative truth. Note that I’ve only established Alessandro’s mother as from the region of Nigeria and she’s NOT alleged to be Oshun acting in disguise. At least this element of the story has not revealed itself. 

My Italian dreams journal is now firmly cemented logically into the Oshun collection, while remaining true to a design concept. Unintentionally, I’ve reminded us all that the holier than thou history of Cardinals and Popes is suspect at best.

No wonder the need for self-flagellation occupies the minds of so many in Vatican City. On a positive note, the truth of Alessandro’s African ancestry positions him as the “first black head of state in modern western history”. In reality “Alessandro de’ Medici’s race was quite pivotal to the Grand Ducal and the most politically powerful period of Medici history.”

Hmmm. I wonder how Vatican Father Gabriele Amorth, head of the International Association of Exorcists, is doing in chasing the Devil out of the Vatican. If he hears about my Italian Dreams collection, it will surely be condemned as the work of the devil, especially now that I’ve revealed yet another saucy Catholic Church story to AOC readers.