Erica Jong | Sarah Palin | Elizabeth Badinter | Good Mothers Have Rights, Too
/
God Bless her; at least Sarah Palin admits that she had a nanny for her kids.
Perfect Mother Conservatives
Phyllis Schlafly, the American Conservative political activist who single-handedly jumped in her roadster with six kids in tow and beat back the Equal Rights Amendment for American women seems to have done it solo. Between speeches and having babies, Schlafly managed to pick up more prestigious degrees and accolades than we can count. The woman’s competence leaves me dizzy and in serious need of a martini to steady myself.
As a Phi Beta Kappa graduate of Washington University, who received her J.D. from Washington University Law School, and received her Master’s in Political Science from Harvard University Phyllis Schlafly and now Sarah Palin, are nearly perfect women — thoroughbreds in every respect.
Then there’s the rest of us.
Erica Jong, certainly a feminist, Democratic liberal at heart, picks on Madonna and Angelina Jolie in her essay on ‘attachment parenting’, reminding us that we don’t see their nannies and entourages in photos. This is true, but there are women who just are supreme achievers in life, from Madonna to Sarah Palin.
The problem is that they set the standard for womanly behavior, because WE make them so. In particular, American women are guilt-ridden to the core, and that’s the whole lot of us, even the daughters of feminist mothers. There are few exceptions.
Elizabeth Badinter Writes: Motherhood Can Be Oppressive
French author Elizabeth BadinterAmerican mothers, in a blacklash against ‘self-centered boomer women’ have vowed to be perfect parents. Jong wants us to push back and give moms and marriage a break, but I fear things will get worse, with the perfect Palin entourage on the road. Think what the woman has accomplished! You won’t find me snickering behind her back. I have R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Jong’s WSJ essay mentions French writer Elizabeth Badinter who explains how motherhood is a form of oppression in her book “Le Conflit, La Remme and La Mere.” I was madder than Hades at the American women’s morality police the day I wrote about Badinter, and I agree with most of her premise and Jong’s also.
Stating that I’m a slouch of a woman compared to Palin and Schlafly, I did just write an essay about American women having children with lower IQs than French women, due to our obesity problem. Jong takes up this subject. Mea culpa.
I didn’t mean to dump more guilt on American women, but science is on my side. And we must stop eating all this food, which is killing our beautiful insides. American women’s descent into obesity can and will have long-term effects on our babies and more importantly, on us — the center of my concerns.
Not only are American moms suffering terribly (and perhaps eating more) with all this pressure to be the perfect mother, but most surveys agree that marital time has suffered, with this perfect-parents philosophy.
The Infamous Ayelet Waldman ‘Bad Mother’ Admission
Ayet Waldman, husband writer Michael Chabon, and one of their four childrenI still remember reading Ayelet Waldman’s 2005 essay for the New York Times, in which she admitted to loving her husband more than her children. I thought she would be shot in cold blood, but thankfully, she lived in a state with gun laws.
Elizabeth Badinter’s book is about to be published in English and she, too, had better watch her back in Tea Party territory and Park Slope, Brooklyn, too. Badinter can run, but she can’t hide from either side in America. After Simone de Beauvoir, Badinter could become French enemy #1.
I’ve come up with a political positioning for American women. Our rights are under assault, from my point of view. I was called ‘rabid’ by a Conservative woman the other day, one who wants to give back women’s rights. I call my new feminist lens: the Mama Grizzlies vs the Snake Charmers.
We will be writing a lot more about God and religion at AOC, because facts are facts. Two-thirds of American women believe God is a tangible ‘he’ who is watching our every move. This is our God-fearing DNA which also inspires us to be perfect moms in our post perfect Schlafly world.
We musn’t disappoint the big guy upstairs — or else.
If you are one in three American women who believes in a punishing God, there’s no way you’re getting out of line. You will be in the hot seat into eternity, and I do not want that for you, for one moment.
Whoever told you that feminists don’t care about god-fearing women is wrong. I hate to burst the myth, but we never talked about you that way in consciousness-raising session.
Erica Jong will back me up on that fact. Unfortunately, other people made up those stories so your blood would boil at women like me.
God Forgives Us
Another one-third of American women believes God will cut us some slack because he’s more benevolent than punishing.
You are the ones I hope to convert to the view that God is reasonable about our failures as women — as long as we give our obligations our best shot. Even when we fail entirely, God can be compassionate
To be honest, I’m putting God first in most of my political analysis going forward. “If you can’t beat them, join them,” I say.
You know about the Mama Grizzlies.
Smart Sensuality women are the Snake Charmers, and I agree that we just don’t cut it against Schlafly, Palin, and the upper echelon of Mama G’s, but we do have some redeeming qualities, including a strong sense of responsibility to our children and others in need — everywhere. AND, we are deeply concerned about women’s self-development and their own psychological wellbeing.
That’s the rub. We don’t believe women run on autopilot like sex dolls and that we are entitled to be our best selves, without government interference and the state controlling our bodies, like we’re children in need of monitoring. Talk about a nanny state!
Children of Perfectionist Parents
In closing, who is writing the book about all the children of perfectionist, attached parents?
I had one of those perfect mothers, and with all due respect, I sure wish she had gotten a job and been happy with her life. In truth, I did not benefit one bit from her attachment to raising a highly imperfect child in constant need of correction, except that I am fearless under fire.
My favorite woman in life was my mom’s best friend, a true character out of a Tennessee Williams novel. KM smoked cigarettes, drank martinis and played a mean boogie woogie on her baby grand piano. She didn’t rake the carpet so it was perfectly even, read serious books and she probably slept until noon, and perhaps naked.
KM liked sex a lot, had three kids and was a marvelous piano teacher to me. Best of all, she had the most amazing collection of taffeta cocktail dresses that I modeled whenever I needed a little pick-me-up. Being age 10 was very challenging at my house; I couldn’t wait to stop being a kid and hightail it to New York.
To be honest, KM reminds me of Ayelet Waldman and Elizabeth Badinter. Being a believer in the ying/yang balance concept, I sense that the current definition of American motherhood also needs some yang against all this ying perfection. Balance is good, at least for Buddhists and Hindus.
Look at me. I come from a totally dysfunctional childhood, and I turned out splendidly. xoxo Anne
French Writer Elizabeth Badinter Asks “Is Motherhood a Form of Oppression?”
