Canadians Study Authentic Components of Great Sex

The sample size isn’t large — only 44 people who reported experiencing “great sex” and 20 sex therapists — but the message is a great one.

According to a new sex survey out of Canada The Components Of Optimal Sexuality: A Portrait Of “Great Sex”, really good sex isn’t based on hard erections and even orgasms.

‘Optimal sex’ was the result when partners were present, connection, deep sexual and erotic intimacy, extraordinary communication, authenticity, vulnerability, interpersonal risk-taking and exploration.

We don’t need to get things right every time. Caring enough to look for the G-Spot is half the pleasure.

The survey results don’t paint a world of body perfect porn stars and male stud muffins. Many of the people interviewed were older. The Canadians assumed that older people who still had great sex had something to tell younger ones. Seems reasonable if you can get beyond the ‘icky’ part.

Each of the attributes listed in the survey are essentially non-mechanical, self-related traits. They require us to ‘know ourselves’ in a highly braned celeb driven world that tells us to be somebody else.

Great sex takes time, work and energy. It requires us to be present and engaged, not checking off another item on our ToDo list.

I don’t have faith that this small study will gain any serious traction in our Viagra-saturated world, but it confirms the fact that good sex is about far more than perfect bodies and 10 Ways to Score a Home Run in Bed.

Unfortunately, a large-scale survey in America on this same subject won’t find a sponsor, because the answers don’t lie in buying something to make sex better. All the lotions, potions, toys and apparatus required for great sex are ours for the taking.

Anti-Rabbit-users unite! Just kidding. Anne