Can Tantra Restore Intimacy in America's Paradise Lost
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Anne here, writing a quickie on tantric sex.
Reading Rabbi Shmuley Boteach’s book (see next post) “The Kosher Sutra”, I was surprised to reach one of the final chapters Worshipping the Feminine, in which Boteach investigates similarities between tantra and the kabbalah.
In a few paragraphs, Madonna’s interest in the kabbalah — typically referenced as a kind of inscrutable Jewish mysticism, took on an entirely different sensibility in my mind. I can’t write ‘meaning’ because I don’t understand anything about kabbalah at this moment.
A female-centric New Eroticism movement is one of my core lifestyle trends, an evolution away from 365 Super Sexy, a more male-centric sexuality. Naming a trend is one thing; understanding it fully is another.
The reality of modern American sexuality is that even though our society is drenched in imagery and innuendo, we are having less sex between humans, than in the fifties. For men especially, pornography offers an easy alternative to engaging with an actual person — typically a woman.
Porn allows us to get down to the business of orgasm, the quickie sexual release in an expression of emotionless, results-oriented lust.
Female-centric Sexuality
New Eroticism expresses a female-centric need to reconnect with ourselves and our sexual partners in an intimate, sensory, spiritual experience. Until now, these concepts have drifted at the edge of mainstream sexuality.
The word ‘kabbalah’ makes us think of Madonna; ‘tantra’ brings up visions of Sting and Trudi having a sexual marathon. We haven’t taken either concept very seriously. I believe change is happening, that tantric sex, in particular, is moving off the fringe of sexual behavior into a more meaningful place.
When it comes to tantric sex, we still don’t understand it. And yet, this past Thursday, FOXSexpert Yvonne Fulbright devoted her column to tantra: How to Unleash Your Supernatural, Sexual Self.
Having drinks this week with a former martial arts practitioner, also a globally-known architect with a PhD in philosophy, who just happens to be a practioner of tantric sex … I felt the sensual energy between two palms not touching … that Dr. Fulbright writes about.
New Eroticism Gains Traction
Yes, Anne is doing her own investigation of this tantra subject, because I sense that it’s a big New Eroticism wave coming. I mention this man’s credentials, not to impress, but to underscore the fact that tantra is gaining respect in a highly-credentialed crowd.
Looking again at Dr. Laura Berman’s book Real Sex for Real Women, she also takes the concept of tantric sex very seriously.
I’ve long believed that a sexual energy is at the core of my own being, although I’ve not pursued this line of thinking, to see where it takes me. Mysticism and Eastern religions have not interested me that much, because I’m a Western woman, committed to mainstream Western branding, marketing and business principles.
At the same time, I have a strongly intuitive nature and complex sensitivity. As a Smart Sensuality Woman, I’ve never been a straight-line thinker.
As a sensual woman, I understand the emotionless, empty nature of American sexuality and am ready to state publicly that I agree that we are entering a watershed moment in sexy living and sexual expression, exacerbated by the shift in Modern to Cultural Creative values.
Sexual Futures: Sexually Separate?
At the risk of being sensational, let me remind us all that there’s a lot of seriously percolating conversation around the fundamental question of whether or not men and women will even coexist together in the 22nd century. As radical as this idea sounds, we cannot assume that the sexes will even need each other in another 100 years.
The basic question is more focused on whether women will need men, once science perfects the art of artificial insemination and test-tube babies.
Women and men must rediscover a stronger need for each other, beyond family and baby-making. Forget the “10 reasons to have sex tonight” headlines. We’re in big trouble in the bedroom, in marriage, and in our dealings with each other.
Tantra, and kabbala (according to Rabbi Boteach) challenges us to reach out and actually touch each other in a nondigital, sensual, emotional experience. Tantric sex is not focused on the 30-second orgasm. In fact, orgasm may not occur at all initially, and when it does occur, the orgasm may not be focused at all in our genitals.
As a new student of tantra, I have produced such an orgasm in my partner, much to my own astonishment, as well as his. Without knowing what I am doing, I understand that an exploration of tantra is rich psychological, sensual territory.
I am in good company this week with Dr. Laura Berman, Dr. Yvonne Fulbright, and Rabbi Boteach also treating tantra in a credible fashion. It’s easiest to dismiss the things we don’t understand or disciplines that challenge our basic assumptions.
What I want to say this morning is that while tantra may involve honoring female principles, I believe that it may have a more solid following among men than women.
It’s not only women who believe that the sexes are losing touch with each other, that walls of anger, resentment and misunderstanding exist between men and women. Men are searching for connection, too.
On behalf of us all, I’m giving tantra a serious assessment for many reasons. I’ll share my learnings in the coming months, bringing understanding and credibility to a subject that may be our only hope for sexual intimacy in an psychologically disengaged, always turned-on America. Anne
