Masha Novoselova | Sofia Sanchez & Mauro Mongiello | Tank Magazine Spring 2010

Just had one of those ‘six degrees of separation’ moments, going back into the archives for this beautiful Sofia Sanchez & Mauro Mongiello editorial.

My entire career, I’ve pleaded for a higher consciousness on female sexuality. Of all the ‘enemies’ I didn’t intend to fight in life, I now find myself up against the wall — not from the Republican Right, which I expect — but from the daughters of America’s feminists.

Last Thursday night I went to hear Erica Jong talk about her new book ‘Sugar in My Bowl’. On the panel were two younger women contributors to her book — which in not about ‘Sugar in My Bowl’. Erica opened the evening saying that she preferred the original Bessie Smith version of:

‘Need A Little Sugar in My Bowl’

and not the dramatically cleaned-up version by Nina Simone

In reality, Erica Jong delivered an equally antiseptic version of her stature as a feminist icon and writer last Thursday night. Erica’s two panelists Julie Klam and Karen Abbott who contributed essays to Jong’s new book ‘Sugar in My Bowl’ appeared positively uneasy about the entire subject of sexuality.

The evening was such a female sexuality nightmare that five of us women — and one supportive husband — banned together to write Big Betrayal | Erica Jong Daughters Ice Sex & Women’s Rights.

This latest, blistering essay follows my writing on statements made by Jong’s daughter Molly Jong-Fast who believes that the world’s women are as liberated as they need to be. Her lack of empathy for the conditions faced by women around the world is staggering in scope.

Back to female sexuality, the panel made the case fo returning women to the 1950s and even the Victorian era — leaving my group entire speechless. The entire evening was about not having sex and living in a world of sexual fantasy and repressed desires. Real life sexuality is just too unpleasant for this trio.

All of us agree with Erica Jong that we would like to add some mystery and romance back to relationships. But pinning notes on trees in the forest is not all that different from texting, even though it sounds far more romantic.

My life’s work is devoted to inspiring women to appreciate the beauty of our own bodies. Last week I found myself faced with an opening statement from a writer Julie Klam making her position clear. She admits to finally telling her five-year-old daughter that her vagina is not a “front”. Klam admits that she can’t utter the names of female body parts without a certain revulsion.

We were speechless in the audience; totally wiped out of words. This is not the first time I’ve watched and listened to America’s strong voices change their dialogue on female sexuality.

In Europe eroticism is reality, not wishful thinking. Countless numbers of European men have told me they much prefer the erotic art photography of Europe vs the American pornographers who leave absolutely nothing to the imagination.

In America, we act like deer in the headlights when we hear the words sex and erotica. Consumed with guilt and headed for confession when we haven’t even acted on impulses, we long ago ceded nudity to the pornographers — the baser the better.

I can’t write: ‘I want to take nudity back from pornographers’, because America has never enjoyed a healthy sexuality. Always, we’ve made sensuality the work of the devil. Both Julie Klam and Erica Jong’s daughter Molly are permanently maimed by the fact that they saw nudity at home growing up.

We all left Erica Jong’s presentation last week consumed with regret over just how far America hasn’t come in embracing a positive sexuality.

Victoria’s Secret and American Women

This is the unfinished business of Victoria’s Secret, which could have done more than any brand to help women love their own sexuality. Instead, we abdicated our intimate relationship with American women to pursue Angels, as an intermediary between women and the brand.

Rather than love our own sexuality, we aspired to be an Angel. Clever psychology but a betrayal of the powerful connection that existed between American women and Victoria’s Secret, who made sexuality respectable.

The deeply personal tie is broken, which doesn’t suggest that there aren’t other wonderful qualities about VS, now that the merchandise is improved again. I view the biggest opportunity as lost, however, and it was a glorious possibility for American women to embrace their sexuality in a psychologically-affirming way.

Oprah’s Ambivalence on Female Sexuality

Oprah, too, has back-treaded in this territory of female sexuality, and I don’t know why.

As she gained her weight back over the years, honest talk about sex was replaced with ‘vajayjays’ and Oprah squirming in her seat, when Dr. Berman suggested that women explore their vaginal anatomy with a mirror. I nearly threw something at the TV set.

This was not the brave Oprah from her thin period. Sorry if I offend, but these words are factually correct.I tracked Oprah’s demise as a positive sexuality advocate, pound by pound, every lost treadmill mile and blue corn chip, or whatever she was addicted to.

Did Oprah run into problems with network censors a few years back? We know that’s a huge problem. Did her advertisers tone down the volume?

Oprah and Victoria’s Secret together: mama mia. What a lost sensual-message powerhouse for American women. And now it seems that Erica Jong has thrown in the towel, preferring to live in a world of fantasy and imagination.

Thanks Sofia Sanchez & Mauro Mongiello for creating a beautiful set sensually-inspiring images of female desire and identity.

When I speak of female-centric vision of sensuality, this is a great example. You don’t have to be a James Bond girl bombshell to be sexy. And sensual ambivalence is OK — whatever your age.

In fact, in America, it’s expected — and that is the problem we simply must conquer, with women being hounded on all sides today by morality police of every version. Anne