Men & Women | Sexuality & Aging | SALE
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via Flickr’s h.koppdelaneyhttp://bit.ly/cFl6gO
We’re in slippery-slope territory today, with this new report on aging and sexuality published in the British Medical Journal, abstract with link. As you might expect, men think about sex more than women.
I have no idea what these people are talking about because my libido is rarely in low gear. I’ve read all the science, know the facts and figures, and continue to be a cheerleader for sexy older women.
Researchers Dr. Stacy Tessler Lindau and researcher Natalia Gavrilova of the University of Chicago studied two representative groups of aging Americans:
• 3032 adults aged 25 to 74 (1561 women, 1471 men) from the midlife cohort MIDUS — the national survey of midlife development in the United States, 1995-6), and
Roughly 80 percent of men and 65 percent of women in the study were married or living with a partner.
‘Excellent’ sex was defined not by the number of times someone had sex but the emotional and physical satisfaction of the experience. The survey described having sex ‘regularly’ as two to three times a month, said Lindau.
Sex was further defined to the 57- to 85-year-old group as ‘any mutually voluntary activity with another person that involves sexual contact, whether or not intercourse or orgasm occurs’ in the past year. For the same time frame, those in the MIDUS group 25-74 age group were asked if they had ‘had sex with anyone. via CNN
Overall, men were more likely than women to be sexually active, report a good quality sex life, and be interested in sex. These gender differences increased with age but frequently actually held when the woman had a partner. Morality rates enter into this analysis.
SALE for Men and Women
Lindau and Gavrilova measured sexual activity, quality of sexual life, interest in sex, and average remaining years of sexually active life, referred to as sexually active life expectancy or SALE. Their results conclude that if you are a 30-year-old male, you can be expected to have sex for 35 more years. A woman can expect to have a SALE of 31 years.
Considering the fact that women live longer than men, women will live twice as long without sex as men before they die. Big problem!
Sexual Activity 57-64
Married women ages 57 to 64 are having about as much sex as married men in the same age group. But while 77% of partnered men in that age group say they are interested in sex, only 36% of partnered women report the same interest, suggesting that they are perhaps having sex out of obligation, which is a sure-fire way not to enjoy it. The survey doesn’t explore why women don’t enjoy sex as much as men — metaphorically with each other.
Landau cautions against drawing conclusions about the implications, especially of the women’s answers.
Sexual Activity 75-84
Sexual disparity was greatest among the 75 to 85 year old group: 38.9% of men compared with 16.8% of women were sexually active, 70.8% versus 50.9% of those who were sexually active had a good quality sex life, and 41.2% versus 11.4% were interested in sex.
Note that women are living longer in this group and many don’t report an interest in sex, because it’s not really an option. We can’t assume that 80-year-old women don’t desire sex but it’s not part of their mindset if their town and lifestyle has no available men.
According to Landau, when women have partners, they have equal amounts of sex. The fact that older women aren’t enjoying sex as much as men is again troublesome.
Good Health and Good Sex
People in very good health were 1.5 to 1.8 times more likely to report an interest in sex than those in poorer health. Among those who were sexually active, good health was also associated with more frequent sex.
Self-reported Study Answers
Science has already taught us that women report one set of answers about sex but in fact, they’re actually having a different experience. All the answers are self-reported and many women don’t even feel comfortable saying they’re having hot sex at 65. And many men wouldn’t admit that they’re actually not in the mood.
Self-reported sexual data is always dangerous, when drawing major conclusions, so let’s not. These results are a guide that ring true for researchers like Lindau and Gavrilova. Digging into the meaning of the numbers is a separate project.
The researchers also report that both men and women answer that it’s men’s health problems that tend to impact the quality of a couple’s sex life. For some couples or for men, Viagra is an answer.
Other men won’t take Viagra or Cialis, refusing to admit that erectile dynfunction is even an issue. Their wives may be the unhappy ones, even though some research has said that women feel pressured by their husbands taking Viagra.
Women tend to take responsibility for a man’s ED, believing that we’re no longer attractive enough, slim enough or sexually interesting. So men get a free pass on this topic, in many cases.
Landau reports that Viagra has widened the gender gap, in terms of having interest in sex at an older age. The wonderful life-enhancer for men has no equivalent for women, and many women are loud about not forcing it down their throats.
Dr. Christiane Northrup: The Secret Pleasures of Menopause
I’ve read all Dr. Northrup’s books, believing that she has the fantastic advice for aging women about embracing their sensuality and even more importantly — pleasure.
New York PBS ran Dr. Northrup’s show ‘Wisdom of Menopause” March 8th, Monday night. Try to find it in your area, because the show’s absolutely fantastic for women and men.
One message to women made me jump up and down — although I loved every word that came out of her mouth. Dr. Northrup has grown so much herself in the last decade, evolving into a true Smart Sensuality woman.
Dr. Northrup’s advice: “Believe you are an irresistible woman. Behave as if you are the most wonderful woman in the world. Stop worrying about being considered a narcissist and be fabulous. Assume that men find you enchanting. Believe that even dogs know you’re a very special woman.”
If you maintain that positive energy and self-discipline in your life, you will live and receive that energy. This is my view of human sexuality, even as an older woman. Be irresistible and the world is your oyster. Listen to Dr. Northrup in her short video.
In her short one-on-one video, Christiane is a big-sister, as much a renowed health specialist, as a wise-woman friend.
Like Dr. Northrup, I believe that sexy aging is key to good health, longevity and mutual enjoyment of life for men, women and their friends and family. As Dr. Northrup says, ‘If mama’s happy, everyone’s happy. And good sex goes a long way to putting happiness in the bank, even in the middle of a recession.’ Anne
