via Flickr’s Christi_NielsenNote to Readers: This is Brain talking, a new central character in Anne’s sex book. We have a tiny snag in our departure for the land of “la dolce vita”. 

Just between us, I found Ms. Anne pacing the floor all night, then on her computer looking for information. I’m not thrilled about her driving with no sleep, even though she’s always capable under fire. So I’m joining our group. 

“They’ll hate me in the fourth chapter,” she cried out at 3am. “I can’t do it. Let’s ease into America’s obesity and exercise statistics at the end of the book. I know it’s counter-intuitive to save the bad news until last, but everyone will be so happy to be in Portofino, we can just cut and run. “ 

But Ms. Anne, I tapped her strong shoulder. French women don’t get fat. How can you not discuss this fact upon our arrival in France? We’re parading into the Carlton in Cannes in our baggy sweats, and you don’t want to talk about America’s weight problem and its relationship to sexuality?

“That’s not entirely true, Brain,” she said, defending Americans. “France has its own problems with growing obesity rates.”

She was blowing loose in the wind with that argument. Ms. Anne, you study women for a living. Americans latch onto every little statistic to make ourselves feel that we’re just leading the race to obesity and everyone else will catch up. Then we biggie-size the facts, distorting reality way beyond the truth. 

French women are the slimmest in Europe, with a collective BMI of 23.2. In a 2009 study of European women, half of all French femmes are convinced that they weigh too much. Women’s attitudes and statistics are similar in Italy, the second slimmest country in Europe.

via Flickr’s christi_NielsenHow can we not discuss America’s obesity rates, when we open Chapter 4 in the south of France? You have me totally confused, Ms. Anne. Don’t make me feel badly, as if I’m The Doctor, or someone equally detached and analytical. I’m Brain. I see the whole picture, including the emotional component of every issue. But on this subject we must take off the rosy glasses.